League of Independent Theater Board Meeting

I was recently elected onto the Board of Directors for the League of Independent Theater in the artist/professional class. Tonight was my first meeting. You might be asking what exactly independent theater is. Well, I'll tell ya...

Independent Theater is artist-driven work created free of commercial restraints. Its purpose is to explore and expand convictions, methodologies, imaginations, and aesthetic sensibilities through the creations made by the independent artists. Its value lies in the questions it raises, the communities it brings together, and the lives it changes. Independent Theater strives to take artistic risks, express uncompromising (and uncompromised) visions, and connect with its audiences on its own terms. Independent Theater artists represent a wide and diverse set of sensibilities: trailblazers who act on visionary impulses as well as folks who just want to put on a good show. These impulses exploded from the curious, creative, questioning milieu of the 1950s and 1960s, and have informed the work of independent theater artists ever since. The members of The League of Independent Theater pledge to keep those impulses alive for future generations of artists and audiences, both in New York and nationwide.

Indie Theater isn’t low budget theater produced by amateurs for amateurs. It is not community theater. It is not a showcase opportunity for artists who can’t get any other jobs in the theater. And it is not a hive of desperation that breeds bad art. Indie Theater is a state of mind. It’s a call to arms. It’s a way of life. Indie Theater is the research-and-development wing for the American Theater.

Indie Theater is a pure, unfiltered vision communicated directly from the artist to the audience. Indie Theater is the impulse that inspires professional artists to create and produce their own professional work instead of waiting for someone with deep pockets to produce it for them. Indie Theater is about springing into action making one’s voice heard instead of waiting to be discovered by the powers-that-be. That impulse to create – that call to action – has led to some of the most distinguished and influential careers in American theater history.

At least, this is what we've kicked around in the Education Task Force so far. More can be said but I'll leave it at that for now.

So the League is working on behalf of the artists and groups today who are out there busting their asses to make good work. There's a lot to be done for this sector. If you think your stuff falls in line with this, please join. www.litny.org. We need lots of people to make this thrive.

Anvil Revisited

I'm in the Angelika again for the 5:30 matinee of Anvil. I've had several discussions with people since my last post about where they are and pursuing what you love. One guy said there's point after which it stops being noble and it starts being mental illness. I guess I'm figuring out the balance of tearing into your passion, having a life, taking care of yourself, building good relationships, and staying enthusiastic and persistent.

I'm seeing this movie again. I hope to sort some of this out.

Chord Struck by Anvil

I saw this movie on Sunday and it really hit home with me. The lead singer, Steve "Lips" Kudlow and drummer Robb Reiner made a pact at 14 to rock together forever. It looked like they were going to be as big as other bands in the 1980s. They're now in their early 50s and even though they influenced other big rock acts like Metallica, they are still busting their butts and toiling in bad rock clubs. They also have crappy day jobs. Spouses and siblings are wonder when it will ever happen. And you see the band go on a really rough tour of Europe and get ignored by record labels after they make their 13th album, in spite of their history.

I took away a lot of things from this movie. Persistence + Love + Work = Longevity. I know a lot of people in the arts who hate it. The insecurity can be maddening. Giving up certain things can be hard to do. And you wonder if it matters.

Robb Reiner had the blessing of his family. His father survived Auschwitz so I guess he wanted him to just be happy. Lips always had something to prove to his father and, though it's not stated directly in the movie, his mother. That has been my lot in life. It's not so much that my parents didn't approve of this crazy acting life as much as they never accepted it. My dad doesn't get it and doesn't like theater. Mom doesn't think I'm good enough to ever make it and shortly tunes me out after asking how I am doing. They are well-intentioned people who care about me so I can understand where they are coming from but it has left me needing to sort it out and find my way. They've never seen my work in NYC or anything I've written. I think I am dealing with that each time I get up in front of people.

I'm not ashamed to say I cried several times while watching this movie. I understand the quixotic pursuit. But the thing that got me most was how much LOVE they have for what they do. Somewhere along the way, I let that be taken from me and began putting my stuff down as unimportant, silly, or worthless before anyone else has chance to do so. I've let the fact that I've needed outside work bum me out.

I've played for audiences of less than 5. I've worked in spaces that were never made to have theater performed in them. I've had casting people say some outrageously offensive and insulting things to me in the room. I've had audiences seem to seethe with anger at me. I've worked with material that's been really bad. I've done the same with my performing and writing but at the same time I've kept reaching out to be accepted through it.

Lips said he can look back with no regrets because he was there, whether it was good or bad, he was there. I've lived my life ashamed about where I was and what I had not yet accomplished. I punished my actor side. I persisted but have never really believed in myself. I simply don't know how and I'm not sure I ever will. If there has been anything I regret it's that I've lived life without belief or love for what I think is most important.

But I'm carrying on. I got my SAG card today and I'm making a new plan. Less to do with getting acceptance and more to do with giving love. I'm going to be there for the good and the bad. And if I get good at this again, I might start doing some teaching again.

The movie was life-changing for me. I hope they get a recording deal, a big tour, a film distribution deal, a Grammy, and an Oscar for Best Documentary. Click HERE to see when and where it is playing near you.

Evil Empire Mach 2

I'm on the train heading up to the Bronx to see the Yankees play their first exhibition game in their new stadium against Chicago. For free! I wonder if this a sign I've straightened out my karma.

I don't know but it's pretty cool. It's been raining all day but it looks like the sun is coming out.